Common Threads

Do you ever look at the 6.77 billion people on the Earth, take a moment to think about someone on the far side of the globe opposite you, and wonder what common threads might bind you? With the various customs and cultures that differ from our own, how are we united? As we hopefully are aware of the many differences, people in general surprise us because of their unique individuality. Each person, having their own independent thoughts, desires, likes and dislikes, aspirations, and life goals, are similar and yet so very distinctive. While someone in the same restaurant takes a bite at the exact moment as you, what is the chance that a person dining 4,000 miles away is doing the same? These endless questions are truly fascinating and can no doubt consume the curious full-time.

People are certainly exceptional individuals. When striking up a conversation with a complete stranger, what details immediately come to mind? For me, I prefer to ask someone about his interests. Once you know they are speaking about a subject that they enjoy, it gives the opportunity to see a glimpse into their affections and passions. While in dialog, I am enthralled by accents of people, which give a clue as to their background. When you discover what location that person is from, it becomes easy to find out where they grew up. What was their neighborhood like? What about their home life? An individual’s history is amazing! I am captivated by their vocabulary and the way that phrases are presented. Pleasant conversation is a priceless gem when it is had. It’s a joy to leave someone and find yourself pondering thoughts discussed. Decoding the mystery of someone unknown and developing a friendship can be an exciting adventure.

Of course there are times when you start talking with people and get completely lost. That too can be an interesting occurrence. My wife reminded me of these awkward instances, one of which she recently endured. She was visiting with a colleague at her workplace and started discussing artistic views of paintings, drawings, and sculptures. These topics always seem simple enough. You mention some of your favorites and then capture items of theirs and move to another topic. In theory, this interesting small talk paves the way for the possible building blocks of friendship. You learn small likes and then more interesting subject matter is given birth. And then it happened. This gentleman began a trek into discussing the space-time continuum, gravity, anti-matter and then properties related to quantum physics. She was flustered immediately. And as the man began speaking more intently, she momentarily thought he might be joking. Quickly she returned to reality when he began to draw diagrams to accompany his lecture.

When this happens, there becomes a point when you are actually committed to the discussion regardless of time and intricate depth. At the onset of the speech, if you work quickly, you can easily mention that the specific topic is not appealing to you or that you don’t understand it. You can get out of it with relative ease and move onto something more verbally appetizing. But once their initial introduction is presented and they’ve progressed passed their thesis on into expanding on their topics, you have no choice but to listen. And perhaps to pray for a miracle, non-threatening emergency.

This one sided exchange went on for what seemed like many hours. She involuntarily began yawning. Then she began the “Yes nod,” shaking her head up in down in agreement, though in all actuality there was not much grasping of the subject. And shortly following that, the “Wha wha whaaa whaa. Blah blah blah” happened. His mouth was moving but all comprehension stopped. By the time the gentleman finished talking, her mind was numb. Incredibly numb. She thanked him for his time and then walked away wondering aimlessly for a moment. Baring her return to college and growing a fast and deep rooted interest in the above subjects, she will perhaps shy away from walking up to him in anything but a group setting.

But people are people. People have varying interests and love things sometimes that others don’t understand. That of itself is one of the positive aspects of humanity. It is such a blessing to learn from one another similarities and differences. Be encouraged to strike up conversations with those who surround you in your community. Just make sure and have your cell phone ready to answer that anonymous emergency call if it is needed.

Preparing Yourself For Developing Relationships

As we look across our communities, we realize that we live inside a melting pot of various people groups, each with their own unique status, cultural customs and practices. There is a world of experience to gain in cultivating relationships with others. In order to do this we must be sensitive. We must actively observe the details of unfamiliar customs or cultures and be attentive to key similarities and differences. And as you spend time learning about one another your similarities will allow you to build a common bond and to progress from there.

A few items to keep in mind when developing relationships are our attitudes toward others, our treatment of other people, keeping our tongues guarded, and being genuinely true to who we are.

If you realize from the onset that not everyone is like you and that their rights as a human allow for differences, then you gain the possibility of experiencing relationships that will bring a fresh perspective to your life. It is easy to drive potential friends away by demanding they share your beliefs, behaviors and attitudes.

How we treat people is also key. Think about how you prefer to be treated by others and approach them with the same courteous respect that you feel you deserve.

Realize that THERE ARE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU. If you criticize, then your actions are perceived as an attack. Constant griping and complaining, pointing out weaknesses or failures in them or in others, and gossiping destroys trust that is vital in all relationships and frankly turns people off to what you say. Guard your tongue. Be courteous with your words and focus on positive attributes rather than the negatives.

And lastly, be genuine. Be yourself. Be an authentic individual and stay away from portraying insincerity and showcasing a façade or false pretenses. There very well may be differences in standards of morality and behavior as there usually are between varying people and cultures. Keep an open mind. Be willing to share experiences and try new things. But remain true to your own beliefs. Don’t allow yourself to compromise for the sake of fitting in.

As we build relationships with others it can truly be a unique blessing. Look forward to meeting someone new and go out of your way to show kindness towards others.