Slips of the Tongue

It is inevitable. On occasion you say something completely inappropriate instead of what you actually mean to say. And when that happens, if the embarrassment alone does not kill you, you generally react one of two ways. You either hope that no one heard your flub and you continue on, or you attempt to correct the fopaux restating the item correctly. Key word there again, being ‘attempt’. Sometimes you pull it off without notice, sometimes people realize the mistake and bring it to your attention, and then at times you restate the item incorrectly repeatedly and make matters worse bringing utter humiliation upon yourself.

When I was young and visiting New Mexico with family, I was fascinated at the time by the American Indian culture. I tried to take in as much heritage as possible while visiting this exciting new place. Using my creative childhood imagination I began the task one afternoon of building an authentic teepee. Much like those I had seen at reservations that were near us. Meaning in all honesty that I was assembling sticks in a triangular fashion and pretending that the masterpiece was in fact the genuine article.

After much work I had wrapped the project. My mom returned from running errands and I rushed to her, excitedly awaiting her inspiring approval of my creation. When she was insight I ran to her yelling, “Mommy mommy! I made a PEE PEE! Come see my PEE PEE!” My mother, completely shocked, asked, “What!” It did not help the situation that she was surrounded by many of her dear friends. I can still hear the laughter if I listen closely enough. Needless to say, after realizing what I had said and feeling the redness slip from my face, she loved the teepee.

Another occurrence, perhaps my all time favorite, was said by a dear pastor, my father, from the pulpit one Sunday morning when I young. Being a people person, it was customary each week to greet the congregation and to welcome visitors. Many denominations conducting weekly services have this type of ‘meet and greet’. It gives people the chance to say hello to each other and gives children the opportunity to release that last bit of energy prior to the sermon starting. As the musical interlude began, the pastor stepped forward and said, “We want to welcome you this morning and thank you so much for joining us. Members, if you see someone new, introduce yourself. We want you to ‘peel a fart’ of our family.” Every head swooned forward as he tried the ‘Correction Method’. “We want you to ‘peel a fart’…uh…‘Feel a fart’…Shoot.” Everyone there was laughing so hard they never heard him say ‘Feel a part of our family’ when he finally got it right.

Those slips of the tongue are dangerous things. And they can be quite entertaining. While embarrassment is a possibility when it happens to us, it undoubtedly brings joyous laughter to others.